Monday, April 16, 2007
"Leached"
My teeth were
whiter and prettier
before I discovered
the sweet addiction
of coffee.
Years of caffeine
staining each tooth
their own individual
color,
cream,
butter,
rice paper,
ivory.
The sharp edges
got thinner daily
from aging and pregnancy.
The calcium leached
from my perfect teeth
to feed the fetus
that used to live inside me
until the enamel
was near translucent.
I don’t
smile
much
anymore.
Aleathia Drehmer 2007
Published by The Outsider Writers 6/07
Friday, April 13, 2007
"Trace"
If I had but
one moment
to trace
the shape
of your face
with the tip
of my finger,
I would find
myself held
unaccountable
for my actions,
I would find
myself
at the mercy
of your eyes,
I would find
myself malleable
under the warmth
of your hands,
if I had but
one moment
to trace
the shape
of your face
with the tip
of my finger.
Aleathia Drehmer 2007
Published by Poems for All 6/07
"Whiskey"
Ten Acre Run is a
mythical place in the desert
for children, who believe
in the miracles of the world.
In the midst of hot sun
and cracked mud,
lay a haven of grassy fields,
maple and oak trees,
and flowers not blooming
from the spines of cacti.
It is a place for riding horses
with smooth, shiny saddles
smelling of leather oil and alfalfa,
instead of riding like heathens
with cinched horse blankets,
bare feet rubbing
the ribs of our beasts.
The saddle horn
silky and worn
as I pull myself up,
right leg floats
over his rump
gracefully, fluidly.
I feel eyes on me
watching in anticipation,
as boots slide loosely
into stirrups
too big for my feet,
reins gripped firm
in my hands.
Holding the bridle,
Tara leans toward me
whispering,
“Don’t forget to lean in.”
I nod, sitting proudly atop
this fine muscular horse,
she releases the bridle,
I nudge him to go
the heels of my boots
digging into his side
expecting him to break
into a gallop
But he rises
in slow motion,
hooves beating angrily
into the heat of the air.
My face rises up
towards the sun,
light blinds
all thoughts from my head,
all lessons learned
vanish quietly,
I am left with instinct
and she is screaming
for me to hold on.
Feet hover out
of the stirrups,
hands grip the reins
tighter and tighter
my body dancing with gravity.
twisting in the wind
like a paper lantern.
I make an imprint
into the grass and dust,
eyes snap open,
as if waking from a nightmare
to a sea of horsehair
painting my face,
swimming in my mouth,
cutting my tongue
like a thousand
microscopic razors.
Whiskey rolls over my body,
his spine a bony axe
dislocating my hip,
then my shoulder
trying desperately
to get vertical.
I am powerless
to escape his swift hoof
as it connects
to the right side of my head
ripping a portion of my ear
from my head.
Everything is dark now,
silence is deafening,
there is a pain
I have never known,
a throbbing
inside my head,
and the warmth of my blood
strangely soothes me
when it trickles down
the side of my face.
Aleathia Drehmer 2007
"One of the Girls"
I have never been
one of those feminine
girls that fawns
over fashion,
make-up and hunks.
I spent my time
slightly to the side
of popularity,
with a book
in my hands,
and a song in my head,
trying to maintain
a balance.
I wanted to be considered
one of the guys
while still having
just enough intrigue
to be one of the girls.
Aleathia Drehmer 2007
"Hog Tied"
There is a hog-tied girl
in the back of the police
cruiser, screaming
the same five words
in a loop.
Three cops pick
her up like they
are carrying a
pig on a spit.
Her shaggy, black hair
falling into her face,
red and swollen
from crying and fighting.
Soft folds of her
stomach become visible
to this lion of a night
as her shirt
cannot defy gravity
in her present position
and the edges of her
jeans ragged
hang around her dirty feet
with misshapen toenails
painted purple and chipping.
It takes seven of us
to strap her into
leather restraints,
the same five words
streaming from her
throat like a torture.
voice manic
and strained
eyes black
with vacant rage
rocking her body
on the stretcher
so violently
it moves across
the room
rails bend
to their capacity.
I want to take
my tape and fix
her mouth shut.
I want to tape
her whole face
to shield that look
of empty hatred.
I do not like
being a nurse.
Aleathia Drehmer 2007
Thursday, April 5, 2007
"Disregarding Danger"
In the park near my father’s apartment there is a curious tree that grows horizontally over the creek. It’s origin, it’s roots never quite in the bright light of sun. The unlikely existence of this tree forced it to grow in an unnatural position. The trunk like a grown man’s leg, straight and long, hovers parallel to the ground. The bark is smooth and almost soft, perfectly round. The grass below it rises up around it, a mass of verdant hairs. As this beautiful tree reaches the embankment, it forms a bend and stands over the creek, growing from thin air, stretching towards the sunlight that filters through the other trees in the woods.
My father lets me test my bravery and balance on this tree. He lets me take off my shoes and socks so I can feel every grain and knot, my toes curling around the edges as if on the balance beam in gym class. I walk out on this trunk without his help and at the bend I am suspended two feet over the ledge of the embankment. To fall the distance to the water and rocks below would mean breaking something. My father disregards this danger. No fear ever washes over his face as I do this and my soul soars with the freedom. My heart nearly bursts with the joy that he trusts in the grace of my being.
Holding on to the upright branches, I am enchanted with the dancing light peering through the leaves of the tallest trees. It seems impossible to me that this tree can survive amongst these giants that it can continue to thrive against the odds. The pureness of the air, cooler and cleaner over the water, refreshes me. I get lost in the motion picture of pollens and dust floating by in the rays of light. Listening to the birds chirp their morning songs, I think of the stories my father and I made up the night before, listening to classical music with the window open to the summer night. He told me the music could tell any story that I could think of, each instrument a voice for a character that only I could create. The thought of it was magical and fantastical; it was so unlike the life I was leading. I fell asleep that night telling a story that I can no longer remember.
He had treated me to stories of his own travels out in the world; stories of canoeing down the Mississippi river with his dog Napoleon, and how they walked the Appalachian Trail from stem to stern. I imagined my father out there as a young man with his head full of loose, sandy brown curls, and laugh that could shake the blues from just about anyone. I think of these adventures and his bravery as I test the mechanics of my body on this limb. Napoleon sits there at the root, half covered in the tall grass. He sits there without being told to, like it is in his nature to watch over me. His eyes follow my every move in anticipation of a rescue, for his trust in my skills, is not like the trust of my father.
When I have lingered long enough over the water to feel strong and sure, long enough to feel like I have tested my will to the best of my ability, I walk the length of the trunk back. I sit down on its’ roots to put on my socks and shoes and I can see Napoleon’s tail waging, making the grass quiver. I place my hand on his velvet, black head as he licks my cheek. He is a loving dog. My father has walked far ahead into the forest and we run to catch up with him. Napoleon and I race each other. I push my legs to go as fast as they can, until I feel them burning. We look sideways at each other to see who will win. Napoleon always wins, but that never matters to me. It is the racing at full speed that matters. It is the pushing of the limits that matters. I smile at the way his long, pink tongue flaps in the breeze of his stride.
I know my father can hear our approach for he reaches his hand out to the side, and lets my hand slip into it; the strength of his arms stopping my inertia. The callousness of his hands, rough from his work, with dirt ground in gives me quiet comfort. It is a wonder that a hand used for such hard work can be innately tender. My heart swells in the shining of his silent trust in my ability to keep myself safe. It seems too much to ask of someone to have that kind of faith in such a short time together. I cannot understand the nature of it, or how it can grow so quickly from so little. We walk the rest of the morning with this new feeling surging between us, each of us not wanting it to dissipate. As he teaches me about the nature in this forest and its offerings, I smile into myself at this feeling of wholeness that I have never known until this day. I did not know if I would ever feel it again, so I hold it close for all its worth, capturing its’ essence for a day when I will need it again.
Aleathia Drehmer 2007
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
"Interchange"
I am driving in my car slowly,
the tires making dull thuds
into the potholes,
like small craters in the earth
that are the remnants of winter's salt.
Dried, brown leaves dart
across the cragged pavement
in the blustery beginning of spring.
They remind me of tiny children
running and jumping across
the schoolyard, escaping their prison
on the last day of classes.
The sun fractures through
the leafless trees somehow
bright and soft simultaneously.
I squint my eyes to its luminance
to look upon the sky crystalline
and blue like the waters
of a warm ocean I have never seen.
Clouds crawl like tortoises,
their great humped backs
like stepping-stones
across a small, babbling creek.
There is an old man
with gray whiskers
on his dilapidated bicycle
in front of me,
his frail, skinny leg a kickstand.
He is still dressed for winter
and his navy coat is stained
with many years of misuse.
His dingy, orange knit cap
pulled tightly to his skull
makes me think of aging,
makes me think of the
degradation of the human body
over time,
how year by year
we lose fat and sinew
as our bodies require less
and less of us to survive.
I lament the fact
that each day spent living
is another day spent dying,
that each moment experienced
is a moment of the past.
The interchange so minute
that we don’t begin to see it
until it is too late.
Aleathia Drehmer 2007
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